Fanfunctional

Oh and if anyone needs to reach me, Wattpad stupidly disabled private messaging so I've lost all records of our chats. Some of you have changed usernames, made new accounts, etc... not to mention it might have been years, so it's really hard for me to keep track. You can probably email me at fanfunctional@gmail.com if you don't feel like downloading discord.
          	
          	Again, I'm not on here very much (evidently) so if you need to talk to me, you can. Just don't harass me. I've had that too in the past  Thanks folks

Baozi_i

@ Fanfunctional  ❤️❤️❤️
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Fanfunctional

Oh and if anyone needs to reach me, Wattpad stupidly disabled private messaging so I've lost all records of our chats. Some of you have changed usernames, made new accounts, etc... not to mention it might have been years, so it's really hard for me to keep track. You can probably email me at fanfunctional@gmail.com if you don't feel like downloading discord.
          
          Again, I'm not on here very much (evidently) so if you need to talk to me, you can. Just don't harass me. I've had that too in the past  Thanks folks

Baozi_i

@ Fanfunctional  ❤️❤️❤️
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Fanfunctional

(2/2) If it's any consolation, I'm still writing. To be honest, I stopped writing Crimson for about a year. Maybe longer. I thought it had merit if I used my fresh adult brain to re-conceptualize it and release it upon completion. Yes, completion. I do know how things end. And when I am satisfied, I will share it with everyone here. I'll sign you a copy like my own eulogy so I can finally walk away. But otherwise–I work in the arts. One day, I'm afraid my real self will finally converge with the me you know, and I'll be forced to reconcile with the guilt I feel over denying my first supporters access to the work they used to come here for. Do we owe eachother? Do I have to come out? Why can't I just hide forever?
          
          Anyway, it's hard. But I will leave you with this–and forgive the dramatic tone throughout, seriously–difficult times prove all the more reason to fight. To create. To exist freely. Don't let anyone take you away from you. Not shitty family members, not bad relationships, not rejections, not school, not war, nothing. Not your friends. Not even your fans. You're a human being, and the world doesn't owe you anything. But you do owe yourself.
          
          Love always,
          ~ Your number one Fan

spookiepie

@Fanfunctional honestly this update brought me back to your account. Over the past few days, I reread the entirety of Crimson and only found one comment of mine (that I noticed) around six years ago where I stupidly missed the raging hint in the title or something about this book having vampires in it lol. This story was a favorite of mine in high school and you’re truly a talented writer! I’d love to see what happens no matter how long it takes (and please, should this be something you come back to, take your time!) :) I’m so sorry to hear life has been rough the past couple years and I truly hope life gets better for you and your loved ones soon. Although I wasn’t a frequent commenter, please just know you can add me to the list of people who think you’re amazingly talented and want nothing but the best for you
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spookiepie

@Fanfunctional Heck am late to replying but you’re welcome!!! :) I had a blast rereading it and I was honestly surprised with how much I still remembered after all these years lol. Wishing you lots of love and luck with everything! And tysm!! Honestly, I’ve started to slack on keeping up with posting my memes on here since I moved primarily over to video content and one video per “chapter” just for reposts seems dumb, but I’ll prob figure out something to do with this account again lol. Apothecary Diaries is hella good!!
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Fanfunctional

@spookiepie Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I can't wait to share my work with everyone again now that I'm a little older, (arguably) wiser, and much better at what I do. I hope you had fun re-reading it  It's a lot! Haha. But seriously, thanks for making my day. Your words of support don't just make me smile, but make me feel like it's worth it to keep going at all. Looking forward to writing more soon.
            
            Thanks again! ~ Fan
            (Also, I like your memes lmao. Apothecary Diaries is great)
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Fanfunctional

(1/2) Hi everyone. I've been absent because of the war in Ukraine. I'm very proud to be Ukrainian but with family back home and insurmountable grief these last three years, I have been virtually completely offline. I won't stop making fun of myself for caring this much when it only makes sense for everyone to move on, but I genuinely love you guys.
          
          When I started writing here in high school, things weren't much better. You were the ones who gave me friendship and a safe space to create. I might be hard on myself but I was nothing without you, and the most simple conversation (about boys, about school, about life) gave me something to think about beyond the nightmares at home. I can't be too hard on you either–after all, a lifeboat means nothing if you aren't willing to swim to it. But I do appreciate everything you've done over the years. And I do mean it when I say I miss everyone.
          
          Now I'm old and travelling in dangerous places. Everything I cherish is in danger, and I can't function like I used to. I'm certainly not functional. Just Fan. Haha. Anyway–I've thought about saying goodbye for good. Just so that handful of you stop checking my page. It makes me too sad. I wonder why love sometimes makes us want to run away? Why can't I own my own grief? But for some reason, I can't delete my account. I don't really want to.

Fanfunctional

@Fanfunctional This message almost made me cry, thank you thank you thank you. It's hard not to let such kinds words get to me–it's very lonely these days, and despite the support, I've often found the internet a lonely place too. That is to say, it's hard to feel like I deserve such kind comments, but I really appreciate them. Their impact is beyond description and I'm grateful to have folks believing in me and in a bright future when I'm unable to myself.
            
            I hope you're taking care of yourself!! I will be back–I'm impossible to get rid of. Thanks again <3
            
            With love,
            Fan
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Baozi_i

@ Fanfunctional  hey girl!! Missed you too!!! First off, I'm your neighbor from Romania, so big big big hugs. I can't say "I can understand" because truly your situation is truly devastating... you are doing strong, you might not think, but some people bend to fear, so the fact that you are still kicking is wonderful. I hope a LOT that this can end, you'll see this as your past, and with a hope for something beautiful beyond it <3. You are gonna have more friends, more love and fun. It's a real possibility, so please don't lose hope.
            
            
            And finally thank you for begin such a treasure that you aren't deleting your account. You might not think of it, but you inevitably changed some people, even me. I love your books, I would love to hear your updates on life especially after war. I love also your book, so one day when I'm gonna be a mother, or grandma, if wattpad is still there I'm gonna check on my favorites again, and nostalgia is gonna make me cry.
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Mannn-calla-docta

Hey Fanfunctional! In case anything ever happens to Wattpad, do you have plugins to other platforms you're on? I've admired your writing since I was in middle school (in college now lol) and wanna be able to stay in touch with either your work or your other pursuits of interests! Hope you're doing great, I really look up to someone of your caliber ☺️

Fanfunctional

@Mannn-calla-docta This really means a lot to me. Uhhhh, I do write. Let me try to figure out a way I can merge my real, professional life with my online one without publically ostracizing myself. Time for a new pen name?
            
            I'll work on it. I really want to share my new work with you guys too (I started writing in high school and uh I've graduated university with an English degree LMAOOO). So rain check
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Fanfunctional

I'm alive- became an adult and it essentially destroyed my life. Avoid at all costs.
          
          Much love. I long for the old days and pine for new ones doing what I love but for now I'm forced to whip pieces of my soul into the air like confetti for the gulls.
          
          Never really gone,
          ~ Your Number One Fan

JoysterJester

 got locked out of my old account so i'm commenting from a new one lol (this is joy). i still think of crimson fondly almost every day. keep on trucking ♥️♥️
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sugarpapi_alex

Real adulting is hard asf. I have a love-hate relationship with it
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